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Devaki Sokaris

Live the life your soul wants

6.Values

You need values so you can live your life being your real self. Know what your core values are, and you will have a road map to live your life by that inspires you to be happy.

Core values ^

Many people are just not clear about what their values are. They don’t know how strongly they feel about something until it is threatened in some way, which is why it’s important to spend time on getting to know who you are and what’s important to you.

Your core values will determine how you see other people and the world around you so when you are challenged by something that doesn’t align with your values, they will be challenged.

Your values are your inner beliefs and will dictate how you live your life which is why they it will be a big factor on who you form relationships with for love, friendship, work and business.

When you become clear and aligned with your core values, you don’t settle for less. Your core values allow you to know what’s right and wrong, and whether you are on the right path and fulfilling your goals.

They are about staying true to yourself and being able to compromise when appropriate without losing your true self.

Not all core values that people have are positive as some people may be driven by self-obsession and greed and those values will dictate how those people live their lives.

Your beliefs are what make you unique and many of them well have been shaped when you were a child, and inherited from your parents. Your core values will affect all the choices, and decisions you make in life which includes ones about your religion, career and political views and beliefs.

Throughout our lives, we are constantly making decisions based on what we feel is right at the time so over time your core values can change as you grow, and learn more about who you are, and what becomes important to you.

Relationships ^

It is unlikely that a person will be happy for the long term in a relationship with someone whose core values conflict too much with their own.

It is always best to establish early in a relationship whether your core values align with the person you are contemplating a future with.

Shared values in a relationship can be the key to a successful relationship rather than shared interests, because even though you might enjoy doing things you both like together, when it comes to making major life decisions about marriage, children, careers etc., if they conflict a great deal with your own core values, you will likely have all sorts of ongoing problems as a result to deal with.

Couples that have an enduring relationship and grow old together usually connect at a deeper level because even after the children, ‘if any’ have left the nest and are getting on with their lives, they have a connection that runs deeper than that, and is connected by the values they share together.

There’s always room, and at times it will be needed for you to compromise in all relationships at some point. It’s when you are on totally different sides of the fence you have real problems in where the relationship can go.

If you decide it’s worth changing for a relationship like for instance changing your religion for another person, it will only work if you can truly find a way for it to fit into your core values, otherwise it’s unlikely you will ever feel real within the relationship if you are feeling too compromised, and conflicted with your values.

Some of the core values that support a successful relationship are:

  1. a.Common goals and values.
  2. b.Putting each other first.
  3. c.Trust.
  4. d.Honesty.
  5. e.Mutual respect.
  6. f.Integrity.
  7. g.Sharing mutual responsibility.
  8. h.Equality with money.
  9. i.Unconditional love.

Grow from different values ^

Age, background, what we have experienced, and learnt in life will determine our values.

We will not share the same opinion with many people we cross paths with in life, but I always say smart people make the most from who they do not agree with.

There’s much more to a person than your disagreement, and there may be something that can be learnt from it, and often a piece of truth to take away and ponder on. Of course, if the other person is abusive, and deliberately trying to cause conflict for a rise out of you, its best to not engage with them as their intent is to do harm.

Our values and opinions in life are ours to live by not someone else’s. It’s best to make the most out of people that don’t share the same values or opinions as ours. Just because they do not share our values and opinions does not mean they do not have something of worth to share with others.

Once we accept that everyone will not share our values which will change throughout life as we grow anyway, we open doors for far more expansion in relationships with others. Trying to force others to abide by our values shuts the door to growth and self-awareness that wouldn’t be available to us otherwise.


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