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Devaki Sokaris

Live the life your soul wants

2.Right relationships

People place a lot of importance in relationships, and many may come into your life with expectations, demands, neediness and selfishness’s. Relationships can go through difficult times, and will not always flow with harmony. Learn from them rather than have expectations of what, and how long they are for.

Laying down ground rules of what is expected in return from what you give comes from a place of selfishness, and an attempt to control someone’s behaviour before it is known how that person is going to behave.

When there is a lot of respect between people, it does give one leverage to weather many storms, but sometimes the rope runs out, and the heart can take no more. The human spirit is quite resilient to what it can endure though, and somehow, we just dig deeper and find more to give, because we can see the potential for change for the better.

Gaining new perspective, tools, and strategies differently can help you build better relationships with the people that come into your life. Look at your relationships as opportunities to grow. Learn to be objective and realistic in you approach to finding peace, and harmony with people.

Its best to lead with an open heart and give people the opportunity to be better, and if they are then not, teach them how to be better by being an example of that. Take time to understand how your relationships have led you to where you are now. The people in your life are not there to serve your preconceptions of what you need, but rather to challenge what your needs really are.

Free will ^

People have free will to act as they want, it is through the consequences of their actions they learn and grow. Interfering with other people’s paths can disrupt their learning lessons and, in the process, deflect from you learning your own. In the end your focus is needed on your own life, leaving others to do the same.

You may be sent to help someone on their path, but it’s important to be aware when it’s time to leave them to grow. You are not there to influence the outcomes you think are best for them, so must be unattached to how they move forward. It’s not only important to learn to get out of your own way, but also recognise when you need to get out of the way of others so they may navigate their own paths.

Giving ^

Wisdom is knowing where to give and when it’s time to move on. Some people have the tendency to overreach in their help for others, and then expect something in return.

Make sure your motives of giving are pure of heart. It creates consequences when the giving was given with the intent of eventually receiving something back from the recipient. It says the giving was conditional, not sincere. If you’ve ever felt you owe someone by their good deeds towards you, it probably means you do, and will likely find out down the track this to be true.

Giving to others without expectation of anything in return creates good karma, and what comes back will likely come from another form that brings value to the life. It’s best not to view giving and receiving as point scoring.

Our words are the channel for our energy but not the focus of what we already carry. For this reason, words are not always required because it is just part of our being thus our presence can be enough to lift another.

Humility requires not talking about kindness towards others, but rather to just be the person that does it by the strength of their being, not their words.

Engage ^

People are often bombarded with what other people think they should do. Learn to do and be comfortable with doing what’s right for yourself no matter anyone’s rules, and projections of what they think you should do.

If you want people to listen to options or other ways of looking at things, its best to deliver your opinions as some food for thought, rather than talking at people.

I would advise people not to take on the projections of those who are hyped up from the likes of seminars where they have had the same pushy approach instilled in them. It is not a good message to try and make people feel like they won’t be successful if they don’t follow someone else’s projections of what success is.

Negativity ^

‘What you put out you get back’ isn’t always the case. You may attract people who are not positive even though you are not be projecting any negativity. Sometimes people are just like blow flies with no boundaries, so they are not taking any notice of what they are creating by their behaviour.

This also can happen if the inner reality doesn’t line up with the outer reality, so it causes mixed messages from one’s energy. It could be due to when a person may be changing their own behaviour and hasn’t fully aligned or integrated it yet.

You can draw people to you that don’t take responsibility for their own actions, and don’t treat people with respect, because you may have something to teach them or learn from them about yourself you were not aware of.

Manipulative people ^

Manipulative people have a need to control their surroundings to feel safe. They often use their pain to get others to do what they want, so they feel in control of the situation.

This may hide in behaviours like a joke or they may make out they are trying to help someone with their advice. Therefore, many people don’t know they are being manipulated, because people are experts in using it in subtle ways to trick others.

Some use emotional manipulation to get you to do what they want, thus use other people and situations to justify that you should give them what they want.

Others may try to rope you into giving them what they want by putting your hand up without asking, so to make you feel obligated in helping them. When they are confronted about their actions, they deny they meant anything by it or said they had questions they wanted answered.

Manipulative behaviour comes from one who believes they are entitled to what they want, and will go to whatever means to get it, as they are self-obsessed.

Sometimes they will dish out ultimatums to try and gain a desired outcome they are happy with. They don’t know how to negotiate, so they do not own what they have contributed to the issue, or relationship dynamic.

When one tries to force others to change rather than negotiate with them, people will either not play along, or they will agree yet hold resentment towards one for forcing them into a corner.

Its best to try and keep calm when a person behaves this way towards you. If possible, distance from them, and remain open to options for change later if they are in a better place to discuss things with you, rather than demand their terms.

Sometimes we can’t resolve issues with people, so we may need to move on from them. We don’t need to be angry to part ways with people if we can’t resolve things. It is part of life for people to come and go, and there will always be something to learn from it.

Boundaries ^

It’s important to create healthy boundaries in life, and not allow others to put pressure on you to do things that fulfil their desires.

Some people wear other people’s baggage in their attempts to help people. There are also people who give because they want to feel needed, thus don’t feel good about themselves.

Discerning is important, so you know where and when to give. The best way to help someone and not be drained, is to obtain more awareness about your own emotional health by understanding your own emotions and feelings. Set boundaries and limits, and don’t be afraid to say, I can’t help you right now.

Learn to centre yourself in stressful situations as it helps to ground you and filter out difficult emotions. Compassion helps to calm overwhelming emotions and feelings towards others and yourself. Regular meditation will also help with this.

Many will adjust their boundaries depending on what they need. However, there are those who will over-reach and give in to pressure until they have the self-realization of their own needs. Some people may need to experiment with this to see where their boundaries lie.

Leaving ^

Our thoughts can often be clouded by emotions so a person can often be confused about the best way forward.

The higher self always knows what’s best for us, thus if we truly connect with the higher self, we will always be guided to make decisions that are right for us.

People come in many shades of light and dark. Most you will see differently as you get to know them, and what they allow you see in who they are. Sometimes it just takes time to see a person for who they truly are, as your perceptions allows you to be open, and willing to see the truth rather than what you want to see.

We can give people a safe place to be their better selves, but we cannot control or change them. Even though they may recognize what they need to change, they may not succeed because their own inner conflicts are too great, which requires them to focus on healing themselves.

Sometimes we must leave their lives, so they can have a better chance of moving forward, because they are not good for us, and we can't help them.

TS: art-a 3ID: 2019-06-24-17-45-15Now: 2020-07-14-14-16-49Powered by: Smallsite Design©Patanjali SokarisManage