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Devaki Sokaris

Live the life your soul wants

2:Forgiveness

Freedom from what binds one to suffering

Is forgiveness possible in all cases, and should it be?

Forgiveness means to pardon someone for their behaviour. When it comes to moving on from those who have wronged us, it is debateable whether we should use the word forgiveness in some situations.

When someone asks you for forgiveness, they are usually asking for you to forgive their behaviour, thus pardoning them. Some acts of wrong doing cannot be forgiven, so this may not ever be possible for a person.

If someone says something unkind to you, and you decide to let it go as not being a big deal, you could safely say you have forgiven them.

In my opinion people do not forgive people for horrific acts, but more they will choose to move on from being a victim to its hold over their life. This does not mean they have forgiven the other party for their actions.

Some see revenge as justice, but this is just a false sense of freedom. Trying to control the outcome of justice only brings more suffering. Whereas, some may try to rescue others in their attempt to heal and move forward, so they become an advocate for justice.

Unfortunately, when one is still raw, their intent can be fuelled by anger, so they may project this onto others as being the source of their anger. For instance, they may advocate for bullying, yet demonstrate the same bullying tactics with the people they want to influence with their thinking.

They may feel this approach somehow makes their own experience less painful. This is not real, because one must face their own issues, rather than try to heal through another person’s pain. It may make one feel better for a short time, but the upliftment will be temporary.

What often stops a person moving forward is, they will keep telling their stories through their pain at every opportunity, as a validation that they have been wronged. This is because they see life how they are rather than how it is. We are not the stories we keep telling ourselves. One size will not fit all to heal and move on, but actual forgiveness in many cases is debateable.

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