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Devaki Sokaris

Live the life your soul wants

3.Being real

Being our self is what we all came here to do. If we strive to discover our true self, we will overtime naturally become more, and more of who we are allowing our inner light to shine through.

Being real doesn’t need an announcement or a ‘look at me I’m different’. That isn’t real, but rather a glamourised version of the personalities desire to stand out and be praised for being themselves. To become one’s self takes time, as we overcome the false perceptions we carry around about ourselves.

This journey can be quite challenging for some, because the truth is to you will lose friends at the very least, and it's also not uncommon to become estranged from family in the process. This path does bring forth truth and helps us to serve humanity better with the gifts we came to share.

One of the challenges many will experience is it is difficult keep friends as they change. This is often because people overstep boundaries wanting us to stay the same, and project their baggage blaming us for what they should own.

Sometimes these people will leave our life as they have too much difficulty accepting the changes in us. Many may need to may walk away from family, and long-time friendships with people who try to manipulate them in choosing between them and being who they are.

Authentic ^

Saying I am authentic is not real unless you are an appliance, clothing, or an accessory.

If you want someone to see you, do not tell them you are authentic. Saying you are authentic is poor promotion in business and life, and it does not prove one is real. It is more of a pitch to say, look at me I am different than the rest.

Announcing I am authentic in life, says I am not comfortable with who I am, and I want to be accepted. It also says, I am trying to manipulate you to get what I want. When one presents as themselves, they live in the awareness of what they discovered, thus they do not announce to people that they are authentic or different to everyone else.

This comes from the thinking they are more special than others. Everyone is unique, but many do not know who they are so follow others for the illusion of happiness and success in life.Anyone who is real, does not say this to anyone or feel they need to. This is overplaying it with glamours and self-seeking validation behaviour. Those who are real simply live in the awareness of who they are and do not make such announcements.

The integration of all parts of one’s self is important, and the only way a person can bring their true self consistently wherever they go.One must discover who they are and then live in the awareness of what they discover. It then needs no announcement, as it is the heart that speaks.

Fake it to make it ^

The analogy around fake it to make is, one day you won’t need to fake it. Hear that out loud implies you are waiting for a magic bullet to arrive while you are pretending you already have it.

Why would you want to pretend to be happy, so you just might trick yourself to believing you are happy.

Fake it to make it is a form of deception, and exhausting because it involves lying, and avoiding telling the truth. This then shows a false image of who one really is, thus painting a false reality of oneself, which involves a lot of wasted energy to maintain, rather than being honest about what’s real, and what the needs of yourself and others are.

Being genuine allows more opportunities to be possible because no one can help you or teach you if you are pretending to be alright or give the impression you have got it.Fake it to make it recipe for illness. Focusing on what’s positive within you, is your best therapist when you need inner guidance to take your next steps forward in changing your life for the better.

Self-reflection ^

We all come into this world a little fractured. It is in seeing what is right in front of us and the opportunities presented that we can trust in the unfolding path before us.

This keeps us on track and true to purpose because many tend to overthink things sometimes or feel there must be something wrong with us or feel guilty if we need time out for reflection.

We all need to withdraw and retreat for rest, reflection and insights into our next steps at times. It’s good to treat these times as an opportunity to tune out to the outer world a little and allow space for change, and insights that come from within about the next steps on our path.

You don’t need to worry if you have lost your way as it is in the stillness you hear the voice of wisdom on how to proceed forward.Being conscious of the journey allows parts of us to wake up that were previously asleep, and this can give more insight into remembering who we are.

Growth ^

We are all not in the same place in life. Some people are more evolved than others, so they can give insight to things one may not be conscious of.

However, we are not here to force others to see what we see, no matter the truth, if another isn’t ready to discover what is there. Meeting people where they are and giving them an opportunity to see more is good, but it’s important to allow them their free will to choose what they do or don’t do.

Self-awareness is the key to understanding one’s self. If one can’t view their self, thoughts, beliefs and behaviour from a detached perspective, they won’t learn from what they have observed. We only truly grow for our best when we follow the path that serves our highest good.

Most of what we deal with runs deeper than we actually deal with, but we don’t always have to dig around unnecessarily looking for issues either. Depending on the choices we make from our challenges, what we thought we dealt with may appear again for some more insight and healing.

People talk about getting to the core, but we never will as we wouldn’t be able to deal with that much truth. We are best to deal with what’s highly relevant to our circumstances.

Integrity ^

Integrity means we are only willing to do the right thing and honour the truth. It is much more than just being honest, as it involves integrating our whole being and beliefs.

This means that a person with integrity will not only be honest, they will also care about the best interest of others, but above all be true to oneself.

The lies we tell ourselves and others project a false perception of who we really are. It involves lying or avoiding the truth. This uses a lot of wasted energy to maintain, rather than being honest about what’s real.

Living with integrity is about being consistent in who you are regardless of the situation. There is only one you, so you bring that person wherever you are without leaving parts of you behind. You are yourself all the time.

Integrating self ^

The integration of all parts of one’s self is important, and really the only way a person can bring their true self consistently wherever they go.

At the very least it takes personal growth and self-awareness to know yourself well. Life isn’t a continuous goal where we constantly think we are not where we are meant to be right now. Others are not accountable to keep us on track by pushing us when we may not appear be moving forward. How much potential we achieve is up to us.

Embracing the journey allows the insights and clarity to come through which can’t happen if one tries to drive their life with force. Patience, compassion and kindness to oneself is needed.

Sometimes we must accept that many of the feelings we have about ourselves may not be real, because the personality sometimes overrides what the inner wants for us. The personality is an expression of the inner, but it is far from perfect, and being the personality, it wants what it wants.

Doing inner work helps to bring through a better expression of the true self. Meditation and contemplation can calm internal chatter and develop our consciousness.

Shadow self ^

Embracing the parts of you that are negative can help you grow.

What happens when we feel our inner peace is just finally feeling intact and then something triggers us, and out steps the shadow for its 15 mins walk of shame, then after all we want to do is crawl into the hole we came out of.

If we don’t face our shadow self, we will continue to be faced with it through triggers and others people who reflect our shadow back to us. We all must accept we have a shadow self, and we will be faced with aspects of it to deal with for the rest of our lives.

Getting to know the parts of ourselves we have disowned can lead to a more fulfilling life. It’s not so hard to recognize the shadow if we become more conscious of what we are projecting on to others.

Wonderful people have shadows and that means they may be humble, compassionate, caring, kind and yes, an a-hole as well.Those who own their shadows and embrace what they need to heal in themselves will transform many aspects of the shadow self throughout a lifetime.

In times where we may feel like projecting, if we draw back from negatively projecting, and own the feelings we are experiencing it gives time to connect with what might be triggering the behaviour. No one likes their shadow self, but it needs our attention along with all our good qualities.

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